©2019 Ellysiumn
I don’t honestly know if I’ve had a place that I could be vulnerable to learn. I guess if I had to pick anywhere, it would be libraries or bookstores. I just feel like I can be myself there, and I can explore so many different kinds of worlds around me. I could be in my head there rather then in the present. I could learn about things that you don’t always learn about in classrooms, or at least things that have been brushed over.
It’s the one place that I don’t have to feel like I’m wrong, or that I’m disappointing others.
It’s not that it was intentional, but i can remember the sigh teachers made when I didn’t understand something after the 4th time, or how students would whisper when I made a comment in class. It makes you stay quiet after a while. Don’t ask questions, don’t get noticed. I think the thing is that you need to get noticed in order to grow. Sometimes you’re wrong, and that’s okay.
People won’t agree with you. That’s okay. It’s okay to not be perfect. You just have to do your best and in the end so many more doors will open up for you it’s crazy. But these places were quiet. I would be in the very back of the room in the corner reading something. I would be doing homework. It would smell like books. I could concentrate without the students talking behind me. It was my me time, in a sense, where I didn’t have to think about everyone around me.
I don’t know where this would connect with my Teacher as an Ally badge. Maybe that I want to give students the best of everything so they can succeed? Maybe that’s it. I think sometimes if we build such a structured classroom, then students can’t grow to be individuals, they learn to just work together almost at though they’re on an assembly line. I want to give them so much more than that. I want to give them creative freedoms and a place where they feel welcomed to learn.
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